Is Spanking an Effective Discipline Method?
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When I was a little kid, I used to get spanked by my mother, and I used to think that I would never ever scold or spank my child. I would be the best parent by letting my child do whatever he/she wants to do. Did you have the same thought in your childhood? But then reality hits us with the perception of our parents. If you were one of me, what happened when you became a parent? Do you let your child do whatever? It ain’t that easy, right?
Spanking: An Immediate Reaction
None of the parents intends to spank their children or hurt them at any cost. Sometimes, the situation makes them impulsive due to the possible bad consequences of their child’s actions. For instance, if your child puts a finger inside the hole of the electricity switchboard and you run to save her, the possibility of getting an electric shock makes you so afraid and angry that you spank your child as an impulsive reaction to the situation. This is the exact same behavior that you want your child to avoid, so should you be doing it? We’ll come to that later. Most of the time, you spank your child for something bad he/she did, and then you yourself feel terrible about it. You regret spanking your own child in the heat of the moment, and then you feel guilty. I remember, most of the time, when my mother used to spank me(Yes, I was a very notorious kid.), she used to cry afterward for hurting me, and as repentance, she used to make pancakes for me (Lucky me!).
Impact of Spanking on Child
Even if your only intention behind spanking your kid is to make your child disciplined, your child goes through different emotions when you spank him/her:
• It stimulates negative emotions in children
Kids process anguish, fear, and shame while they are spanked. They tend to stop bad behavior momentarily and continue to repeat the same behavior. Spanking also stimulates a sense of Revenge in children. The negative behavior of parents toward their child instigates them to either repeat the same action again or act in a similar manner to satisfy their anguish.
• It increases the tendency of children to lie.
Spanking makes kids defensive in behavior. When they understand the cause-effect relationship between bad behavior and spanking, they tend to hide their bad behavior in order to escape the punishment. This leads to a communication gap between kids and their parents. There should always be open communication between the child and the parents; therefore, spanking should be avoided.
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• It fosters children to act in the same way.
Whenever parents hit their children in the heat of the moment, out of frustration and anger, they lose their control and react in an impulsive manner. Here, they focus on the past and punish children instead of focusing on their child’s learning. This reflects their own lack of impulse control, which is exactly the same thing they want their children to avoid in any situation. Spanking, being a punishment, doesn’t teach how to behave differently in the same situation. Making bad choices is a part of growing up; therefore, kids will be making mistakes accidentally or on purpose. Being parents, it’s your responsibility to act proactively in order to make your kids disciplined in behavior. Now that you know, spanking is not the right method to make your child disciplined; the question is whether there is an alternative to spanking or not. Well, to your pleasure, there is a proactive method that can be used to make your child disciplined. You can take away all the privileges of your kid as an alternative to physical punishment. Instead of spanking, you can take away their TV time or toys so that there’s less chance of your child repeating the same bad behavior. You can furthermore reward all the good behavior of your child so that he/she understands the difference.
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