Small Town Mothers And The Fear Of Being Judged
Often I used to wonder about the prejudices small-town people face. Me being from a so-called small town, was subjected to questions like,
Oh! Have you ever been to a mall?
You are so lucky, the cost of living must be so less in your town.
And being from Punjab, people assume that you live amidst a farm and milk the cows every morning. Uff! I thought I had heard enough until I became a mom. People manage to reach a different level of insanity, and a point comes where logic is no longer the accepted norm.
Things I had to hear may now sound funny, but burnt boiled my blood nonetheless.
Here is my personally curated list of top obnoxious things I had to listen to.
1. It is easier for a small town mom because Dadi and Nani are always there.
Fact: yes, they are. And I am thankful for that. Truth: Somebody constantly reminding you that even they have raised kids, and their way is the right way adds a dollop to postpartum depression. There are times when their support is more than welcome. But a large percentage of our hearts wish to grow up with our baby, learn, unlearn. And not be spoon-fed. And Constant comparisons with how they raised their progeny and remarks like how wrong we are to start solids at six months and saying no to baby walkers is a mistake and is no cakewalk to deal with.
So, yes, dear metro mom, we both have our share of problems.
2. You don’t work, how lucky!
Fact: Yes, I am staying a home mom, also known as SAHM.
Truth: Monotony kills- ever heard of this? A SAHM sleeps with her child, eats with her child, or actually what is left after they eat. Bathes once a while because when the child sleeps, she has to prioritize. She goes out according to her baby’s schedule. People NOW think that she is capable of just talking about babies. Poop, pee, baby food, baby blabber etc. are the topics she has mastered upon. No one even bothers to ask how she has been. Or if she wants a cup of tea in peace.
Not complaining my Big city counterparts. But yes, not too pleased about our existence either.
3. Small city, small schools, isn’t education your concern.
Fact: yes, small city and comparatively lesser opportunities.
Truth: Exposure may be less. But my aspirations aren’t. And neither is my capacity as a mother a subject of interrogation. I, like any other mom, will give everything in my power to help my child dream. Moreover, the world is a global village. And even we in small cities have access to 4G. ( pun intended)
So, if a school doesn’t suffice to my child’s curiosity, then I, a SAHM, will create an ocean of knowledge at home for my child—thankyou for your concern.
4. Your child Might end up in a father’s business.
( this one hurts my mom ego the most)
Truth: Yes, his father runs a business.
Fact: Though his father runs a business yet he will never be forced to follow the league. Every child is different. The business indeed is my backup plan. And I am blessed that at least I have one. But that will not stop my child from choosing his own path.
Make a list, my big city friend, all successful people are not from your part of the world. We are Polishing our gems too. Being stereotyped is downright offensive because we don’t give anyone the right to judge us. At Least not voluntarily.
And trust me, small town doesn’t necessarily mean small dreams. Watch out for us.