My Life, My Baby – Story of Indian Motherhood

“I’m doing an exceptional job at being a mom. I’m always open to knowledge and advice to make myself better but I won’t believe the people who try to put me down.” Let’s say this affirmation together. As mothers, we face so much criticism. Society is one thing, but we face the crushing gaze of our own family, especially the in-laws. But why is everyone ready to make statements like, “you’re exclusively breastfeeding? Don’t you know that’s not enough for your baby?” Or “you’re formula feeding your baby? 😱 how can you do that?” Well, the simple answer is ‘it’s my decision that’s why.’ But that doesn’t fly with our elders. As if that wasn’t enough, everyone in our society’ is ready with their unwanted advice on how to improve your baby’s complexion or make them fatter, yeah that’s another thing in India that your baby needs to be fat to be considered healthy 🙄. And it takes a toll on us mothers. We are already struggling with issues like postpartum depression, weight gain, no sleep, and so many other things that cause emotional turmoil that we really don’t need to be told that we’re doing a lousy job. But that’s not going to stop anybody. And if you think about it, no matter what we do, there would be someone out there telling us that we are wrong.

They will also dismiss postpartum depression and some will go to an extent of saying, “hormone Kuch nhi hot”! And as if all this wasn’t enough, Mom guilt is also added to this khichdi of motherhood. It’s a massive result of the comparison. We look at other mothers (especially the Instagram moms) and think to ourselves, “oh wow look at her! she’s managing her life beautifully, I wish I could be more organized”. But have we ever thought to ourselves, “we are fabulous mothers and doing an exceptional job”? Why is it so easy to think we are bound for failure and so difficult to accept that we are enough? Well, let me tell you, YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR YOUR CHILD. The decisions you can make for your baby, no one else can. You have the best interest of your baby in mind so you will always do what’s best for them! So throw the taunts and judgments out the window and let the mom guilt take a back seat. Cause you my darling, are fabulous! So let’s take a deep breath. Count to three. Maybe imagine punching the Aunty who is giving us her flush-worthy advice. But seriously, breathe.

Don’t underestimate the power of deep breaths. And then let’s go ahead and do what we really want to do and what makes us happy. We are enough to make decisions for our kids and we are smart enough to make the right ones. The beauty of it? We don’t need to listen to anybody. We are confident mothers who will raise confident kids and we don’t need anybody’s approval to do that. We are enough and our love is enough. Happy parents make the best parents after all. Adding guilt to parenthood would just make it more complicated. Multiplication is already hard enough, why do you want to add geometry to the equation? 😖 And the only advice you need to follow is that you need to take some time out for yourself.

Take out for 10 minutes. Pray, meditate, slather on a face pack or cut your nails. And if all else fails, just wash your face and pat it dry. Spend some time alone with yourself and relax. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I’m enough.” Motherhood has so many challenges right from the beginning and everyone so hell-bent on putting us down. That’s just how the world works. But luckily, we’re born in a more aware era where we are learning to change ourselves to be more tolerant. As women of today, we need to stop judging mothers and do our best to boost them. So let’s stop listening to all that puts us down and listen to our hearts instead. Let’s Learn to trust ourselves and go with our gut feeling to raise our kids. And let’s all start encouraging others!

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