Healing after Conflict with your Partner

“You have changed a lot! You weren’t like this before!” “Why do you have to make a big deal out of everything?!” “How many times do we fight over this??? It’s not just this time! In the past, you have done this and have not changed at all! “I am the only one who is contributing to this relationship! It feels so one-sided!” We all have said and heard the above to our partners at some point in our relationships. Love is a beautiful feeling; it lifts you to a plane, unlike any other. It makes you light and makes you float. It takes you to a state of bliss. It makes you feel emotionally secure, all because that special someone in your life puts you on a pedestal and reciprocates the same feeling leading to a mutual emotional state of pure delight! But yes, true love is achieved at a price. It requires many compromises; sacrifice, commitment, dedication, and all these ingredients contribute to making the wonderful recipe, undying love. We feel alive when we are in love. The feeling is very aptly put by F. Scott Fitzgerald, “I love her, and that’s the beginning and end of everything.”

When you start dating someone, it is arguably the best feeling in the world. The endless talks, the amazing sex, the meals at fancy restaurants, the lasting smiles! It can disturb the whole equilibrium of your body, mind, and soul. There are innumerable reasons why two people in a relationship fight with each other. Some may be very generic and some very personal to couples; however,

Here we are offering you some well-researched tips that can help you heal post-conflict with your duly beloved:

• It is of paramount importance to step back, sit down, and collectively understand the reason for the conflict. Post a fight, try and relax and sit in your favorite corner of the house to realize what went wrong. After discussing the conflict, you should make sure that you and your partner are on the same page about the incident as a whole with its delicate intricacies. • You should take responsibility if the fight’s cause is attributable to you, and you should come out of your ego and apologize. It is a difficult task for some, but the realization is an essential step towards making amends. • You should discuss and deeply understand your expectations from one another and the relationship; this piece of information is crucial and acts as a pillar for any relationship. •While being intimate with your partner is the last thing you can do, do not use it as a weapon to get back by denying sex for a prolonged period. Let go, it will only help you.

Communication is Key!

You should never keep anything unsaid with your partner, even if something is perceived negatively. There is no use of keeping anything stacked up inside your heart, for it will only keep accumulating and one day burst! There is no use feeling reminded of anything harmful that you haven’t told your partner and them inadvertently keeping doing it. These issues are like old wounds on your relationship’s heart and will turn gangrenous and kill it. Try and have a conversation rather than a fight; it is a massive ask from you to consciously keep your reaction under check in the event of a conflict. If you manage to do so, it will change the entire dynamic of the dialogue you are about to have. If that is not manageable, try not to make a mountain out of a mole and overreact to any situation which will eventually irk your partner as well.

All your issues need to be discussed and resolved in the calmest manner possible, which will heal your conflict faster and eventually make you stronger as a couple. A relationship is a two-sided coin, and mistakes can happen from either side. It is this act of trying to fix the issue which is of paramount importance, else all good memories that you have cherished from the union will turn sour, and you, in a way, would be re-writing your history! So, communicate, reason, acknowledge, accept, apologize, understand, heal, and remain happily ever after!

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