Bursting 5 Myths Of Parenting with my Twin-Upbringing

We can try to teach good habits to our kids, but there is no formula to make them the clone of any ‘perfect kid’; if there is one, that is. The kid who eats his veggies gulps down his fruit juice, learns his tables in kindergarten, whose handwriting is a thesis on calligraphy, and who grows to be either Obama, Musk, or closer home, Mr. Narayan Murthy.

As a mother to twins, I can swear that every formula or trick any well-meaning aunt, grandma, neighbor, or even pediatrician hands down is liable to fail, at least 8 out of 10 times.

So here is me bursting top 5 myths Of parenting with my twin-upbringing-

1. Don’t sleep in with them

My twins are already nine, and I still read to them or chat with them every night at bedtime. Those are the most precious moments for all of us, and the warm hugs post that is priceless. But when they were newly born, we got all kinds of advice, and the strongest one was off not sleeping with them. Or they would get used to it.

Honestly, we tried to get them to sleep on their own in their cot, but they would use their thumb as a comforter. So we thought of lending ourselves for the same purpose. We tried the same tricks with both of them, yet the results were completely different. Because Hello, they are two different individuals- the result was that with my son, all you had to do was make him lie next to you and pat him lightly or just rub his stomach. In less than 2 minutes, he would doze off. However, with my daughter, this did not work, days after days. What she liked was someone walking around the room with her nicely tugged over the shoulder.

Today – She is more independent a sleeper and doses off her own. True to god, none of us have to throw her over our shoulder and walk around the room. My son holds my hand or puts his head on my arm and snugs himself to sleep in 5 minutes. And then I am free. So sleep in or not according to your parenting sensibility. There is no hard and fast rule for the same, I say.

2 Let the infants cry for stronger vocal cords –

This one blew my mind as a new mom. I had premature twins, and it meant one of them was always using the vocal cords to pass some of the other distress signals to us. From I am hungry, to change my diaper to not this doctor-visit again. Sometimes it was all about just comfort or the dreaded Colic. Colic yes. Imagine if we took this advice and let our child just cry herself to sleep ( even if it meant straight one hour or more of crying), not realizing that she was in pain.

So please don’t leave your kids crying in the hope that they will sleep off themselves. Comfort them and let them decide what to do with their vocal cords when they grow up.

3. You can teach kids to eat healthy only-

I am not an indulgent mother. My kids need to or are expected to eat whatever I bring to the table. And so has been the case since they started to eat solids.

Yet, one of the twins loves fruits and needs real cajoling to eat vegetables happily. At the same time, the other one will eat all vegetables Under the sun but won’t touch any fruit other than Apple, Banana, and Mango.

It is because they are born with their own taste buds and have developed their own likes and disliked over the years.

So frankly, introduce your kids to the good and the healthy but don’t be disappointed if they don’t agree to eat a rainbow-colored meal every time.

4. Don’t feed the kids in front of the screen-

Feeding breast milk to the kids was easier than introducing semi-solids to them.

First, the twins’ mealtime was the same. They both needed someone to feed them and supervise them at the same time. Their attention span was negligible and the only thing increasing with each mealtime was their ability to play with the food.

This was the time I introduced them to the magic of screen time. They were glued to programs like Masha and the Bear, Peppa Pig, or just musical counting, etc. They ate, and I was happy after feeding them well.

Did it become a habit? Are they bad eaters today? Can they not eat without a screen in front of them?

Well, we sit down for meals at the dining table, and the only thing the twins get to watch is the number of serving of their desserts. So moms relax and make life easier for themselves; if it involves screen-time with meals for toddlers, so be it.

5. Don’t travel with young kids –

The first time we took our kids to an international destination was when they were six months old. The only issue we had was the number of diapers we carried with us, just to be on the safer side. The kids had fun. We had a chance, and that is all the mattered.

The two reasons we always hear as arguments against traveling are -1) The kids are so small they won’t remember about the traveling experience- that should be the least of your problems. Who has seen the future? So isn’t it nice to make the present beautiful? Take them to a new city, a new country, and let them just have a blast. They will hopefully travel enough as adults to make memories too.

The kids are too vulnerable – yes, and they will be for a long time. So should we just put them on lockdown for the first five years of their life? The more they travel, the stronger their immunity. They get used to different kinds of food, seasons, transports and so on. So start young. Start today.

Being a mommy to twins, I have realized that even under identical circumstances, two children can never evolve similarly. Their basics are always different, and they will always develop their individual personality. We can teach them the good from the bad, giving from taking, love from hatred, and so on. But no parenting advice or formula can turn them into idols of perfection. So choose your own path of parenting and let your kid or kids bloom.

Also Read:

Screen Dependency Disorder – Its Symptoms, effects and tips for Parents

Bedwetting in Kids – Symptoms, Causes and What you should do

5 Steps to be a Boss to your Child